and yet again i postpone the moment when i will write a full fledged blog!!
suddenly someone who hardlys speaks her mind came up with a really insightful observation about me... its funny we miss out the depth people can think with if they talk too much or too less... but perhaps it should be so...
public transport is ultimate entertainment...forget Citywalk mall and PVR Gold, not the south Ex market but the South-eX bus stop is what makes my heart beat in tune with this city... The bus carries labourers, students, housemaids, miscreants, shoppers and fresh, lost immigrants... its not all beautiful, something an elite observation that distances itself from it all, as if its a 'movie' may begin to do...but its fascinating, vibrant. The man half falling on me when i travelled in first year coll...both hurt my dignity and strangely also made me realise i am a woman now... whatever that is.. ha ha..did'nt hit me otherwise...! the peanut chhilka is annoying to cleanliness loving eyes, but is stangely reminiscent of long distance travel in India...it has a good feeling...
Seeing people from small towns, or neighbouring delhi (i am guessing they are from there... excuse ignorance) relate to the escalator at the metro station is awesome... instance one from many i have seen... three kids and a couple and an old grandfather... the two small kids run to it, elder sister runs to catch them and stop them before they may ascend onto those staircase with a mind of its own. dutifully keeps the restless souls in control till elders reach... mother goes aiee and hops quickly onto it and then laughs loudly... man joins confidently... the stairs are too fast for the grandfather, who belongs to an era with a different pace, which age has slackened further. but steps in stranger man who props him up with his arm in a jiffy and then glides away with a smile... mission, part 1, accompalished... i suppose they found another helpful soul for Part 2, touchdown.
3 years back i was shit scared of escalators, encoutering one for the first time in a mall... i would have felt the same fear and the exileration each time i managed, but of course you hide it, who wants to make a fool of oneself...! ha ha... it was nice to see an open expression of feelings...though i guess back home, even they cant do it...!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
grrrrr....
angry at myself.... wots the point of knowing it all if i dont DO it....! Read with concentration, u'll finish in half the time. a day started early, is in your control. You dont always have to feel full upto your diaphram. act only for urself, not to be thot cool. you can maange with 99 cups of tea.
oh when lord will the purpose i assign myself drive me enough to get after it with guns blazing! when will all these glorious romantic images of martial arts and sports achievers, actually reflect in one day led in full chanrge of myself!
BAWL...! phew..i feel better ..will go for a walk...no should study...! oh darn!
oh when lord will the purpose i assign myself drive me enough to get after it with guns blazing! when will all these glorious romantic images of martial arts and sports achievers, actually reflect in one day led in full chanrge of myself!
BAWL...! phew..i feel better ..will go for a walk...no should study...! oh darn!
Monday, February 11, 2008
hear hear
a bark
a yell
a whistled lark
a scream
a honk
a radio selling a dream
an engine whines
a clock chimes
a generator hums
and wedding drums
the hawker cries to sell his wares
the rickshaw puller to serve for his missing honk
the bus passenger in anger at the driver
and the children to cheek the rulemakers
the college dudes for they 'just wanna be free'
as the dhaba guy yells his boys into action
i close my eyes... and lend an eager ear
the same world of everyday
offers itself anew
a yell
a whistled lark
a scream
a honk
a radio selling a dream
an engine whines
a clock chimes
a generator hums
and wedding drums
the hawker cries to sell his wares
the rickshaw puller to serve for his missing honk
the bus passenger in anger at the driver
and the children to cheek the rulemakers
the college dudes for they 'just wanna be free'
as the dhaba guy yells his boys into action
i close my eyes... and lend an eager ear
the same world of everyday
offers itself anew
To be nothing to anybody
someone told me to write something on what an ideal world for young women should be like when i was fishing for ideas to write something on.....
i find that hard to do, coz i don't ever think of 'young'women' as a whole, as a community i can identify with... i may at times relate to a mna's situation better than a woman's.
So, for once let me do away with all good thought about the world, and make a selfish dream about my kind of world, starting with the assumption that i am a woman. I dont necessarily see myself 'a woman', but the world does i guess and that becomes so....
for to me i'm just a soul in this world... living the purpose or lack thereof in it...
the only times i want to be a man is when i want to travel and explore. when i wnat to walk up to the carpenter repairing stuff next door and ask him to teach me his trade, sit and observe the wod carving of the aged muslim artisan who sells his craft in dilli haat, or when i wnat to have a dip in the ganga without bothering to find a secluded spot..when i want to walk around chandni chowk and see the wholeshops, the mosques, old monuments....
or when i want to head of alone to the hills....
Funny that old women repent the lives they live... no more needed by anybody, no more roles to fulfill.... but perhaps few see that this is the age when gendered controls become minimum....
In my ideal world everyone would have a space to be nothing to anyone for sometime at least. It's here that i feel women from urban modern houses have a better time perhaps than their brothers. We can for instance 'work for pleasure' and just sort of make maony along the way... while when do young men get to do that....
my ideal world is there at this moment..when i sit and write, a little work pending, a little to be planned... a free mind.... and a desire to walk the streets by midnight....
i find that hard to do, coz i don't ever think of 'young'women' as a whole, as a community i can identify with... i may at times relate to a mna's situation better than a woman's.
So, for once let me do away with all good thought about the world, and make a selfish dream about my kind of world, starting with the assumption that i am a woman. I dont necessarily see myself 'a woman', but the world does i guess and that becomes so....
for to me i'm just a soul in this world... living the purpose or lack thereof in it...
the only times i want to be a man is when i want to travel and explore. when i wnat to walk up to the carpenter repairing stuff next door and ask him to teach me his trade, sit and observe the wod carving of the aged muslim artisan who sells his craft in dilli haat, or when i wnat to have a dip in the ganga without bothering to find a secluded spot..when i want to walk around chandni chowk and see the wholeshops, the mosques, old monuments....
or when i want to head of alone to the hills....
Funny that old women repent the lives they live... no more needed by anybody, no more roles to fulfill.... but perhaps few see that this is the age when gendered controls become minimum....
In my ideal world everyone would have a space to be nothing to anyone for sometime at least. It's here that i feel women from urban modern houses have a better time perhaps than their brothers. We can for instance 'work for pleasure' and just sort of make maony along the way... while when do young men get to do that....
my ideal world is there at this moment..when i sit and write, a little work pending, a little to be planned... a free mind.... and a desire to walk the streets by midnight....
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